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A lover of the liberal arts, especially antiquity in its diverse forms, I am nonetheless wholly devoted to, utterly transformed by divine revelation. I seek to know the thought of the past, articulate my deepest longings aroused by the wise, and understand the uneasy relationship between reason and revelation; all for the sake of proper action and contemplation, both now and in the future.

11.16.2017

Oregairu 1.12

With a whirlwind encounter with Komachi, the frame sets up the subject of this episode: Yukino enters the shot before the credits and it's clear she's still uncomfortable, barely able to meet Hachiman's eye. But the two can't avoid hanging around each other, so meet they must. 

And what better subject matter than Haruno, who's wearing a bombshell of a dress and directing a band ensemble gloriously? Every man's dream enfleshed. Yukino praises her with characteristic Yukino flavor: "Expectedly good," which sounds sincere, sardonic, and matter-of-fact. She reveals that there was a time when she wanted to be just like Haruno, to which Hachiman unexpectedly replies, "You don't need too. You're fine the way you are." Yukino does not respond. As expected, the two must have direction from the outside, or they'll never get anywhere. And so Sagami goes missing. This provides the drama for this episode, and will illustrate more of Yukino and Hachiman's relationship. After Sagami embarrassed herself in the festival's opening, she hid, and since only she knows the results of some important contest, people need to go find her. Predictably, Hachiman votes against this. Important people who are hiding are really hoping someone will find them and give them attention. He is disinclined to humor such things, preferring the harsh truth - you aren't really necessary, and things will continue without you. A bit bleak, but not unreasonable.

Hayama, however, is a decent, stand-up guy. He convinces Yumiko, who has a mad crush on Hayama, to keep singing so that the rest of the group can find her. This also means finding and getting distracting help from Haruno, who is inclined to be irritatingly evasive, as her social Hannibal self would suggest. Yukino however, outwits her, prompting a devious smirk from Hachiman and an admission from Haruno that "You've grown, Yukino." To which her younger sister retorts that this is how she's always been; an argument that only now is Haruno beginning to see her sister as a person instead of a replacement. No longer does Yukino want to play that role. Hachiman could not be prouder.

Yukino is able to rely on everyone else, so Hachiman is assigned to find Sagami. Yukino intuited (not without reason) that he'd be good at finding her, because he thinks. "When someone loses their sense of belonging, they want someone else to hand it back to them on a platter. She wants someone to find her, so she's on school grounds, and in a place where people can find her." Genius. A simple narrowing of possibilities and presto! Up on the rooftop is Sagami.

The chairman is inclined to be ornery and difficult. Ordinarily, Hachiman would have accepted her request, taken the results, and left, but he reasons with himself that Yukino accepted the role to make Sagami, committee chair, a success. Because it would make her efforts worthless, Hachiman decides to get Sagami downstairs, and "instill in her the honor, frustration, and regret associated with the position. I could do it by saying what she wants to hear, but I don't have it in me to say it." How very interesting.

Right on cue, Hayama shows up and tries to do exactly that: coddle Sagami into going back downstairs. For reasons a little unknown to me, Hachiman can't stand this syrupy, saccharine sentimentality, and decides "to do it my own way, as Yukino did things her way to the bitter end. So it will be unequivocal invective, vile, villainous, and vicious." He is going to make himself a hated villain again. This makes the third time. He gets to perform by telling the truth. Pure, unadultered, loveless truth. Relentless. Sagami envies the standing of Yukino but is incompetent to imitate her, and Hachiman ruthlessly excoriates her weak character. 

Hachiman gets about five sentences in before Hayama interrupts, slamming him into a wall, taking the poor shell-shocked Sagami back downstairs. The girls around Hayama either didn't know what he was doing, or played into it, coddling Sagami just the way she wanted to be coddled. Hayama definitely knows, however. With regret he asks Hachiman alone, "Why can't you do things differently?" Hachiman says nothing. The perfect contrast to the concert downstairs - the perfect image of rejoicing community, with Hachiman alone and isolated, everyone hating him. Everyone, of course, except Sensei: "Doing amazing things is no excuse for hurting yourself. You should know there are people who's hearts break every time you do that." This woman is the perfect mentor, the perfect teacher.

Back in the classroom, Yukino and Hachiman reconcile completely, with plenty of barbed wit shielding desire for connection, per the usual. I love Sensei, but it was probably Hachiman's sacrifice that made Yukino make the extra step, since she'd intuit why did what he did. Despite his stated love of solitude, Hachiman desperately wants Yukino as a friend, and she wants the same from him. Defending her earlier statement back in episode 1 as no lie, "I didn't know you well then. Now I do." Cue a wink and smile. Not bad for a social slug. For better or worse, the two are together again.

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